Living With Don Johnson

Dear Doug

Posted on: July 5, 2012

Dear Doug,

We survived our first major holiday without you. I wasn’t quite sure how we were all going to do. We’re so used to having our annual 4th of July family get together. But, we just couldn’t do that this year. It would have been too hard. So, while I missed hanging out with Mom and Dad on the 4th of July, it would have been way harder to actually spend it with them. They went to San Francisco this year.

Don and I stayed in town and celebrated the 4th with my coworker, Courtney, and her family. There was lots of food, and all the guys picked out this huge box of fireworks which set off behind Courtney’s house. It reminded me of the 4th of July’s that we used to have with the Ayers family setting off fireworks in the cul-de-sac. It was a good night, but there was still something missing.

I don’t know what we are going to do in 12 days. I have to work that day, so hopefully, I will be able to not think about it.

I do have to laugh at some of the things that people say. Anyone who actually knew you knows that you didn’t believe in God. Therefore, you didn’t believe in Heaven. I find it highly amusing that people are talking about what they think you are doing in Heaven. I understand that they believe in God and Heaven, and it helps them to deal with your death. But, for some reason, I find it to be extremely funny to talk about what a person who didn’t believe in Heaven is doing in Heaven. Yes, we had a Lutheran funeral service, and we buried you in a Lutheran cemetary, but that was done more as a comfort thing for those of us who are left. I know that you would have been shaking  your head and wondering why we were going through all of this for you. I think if mom and I had truly been allowed to have our way, your body would have been cremated and we’d have taken a trip to Seattle for the 4th and we would have spread your ashes around Seattle and the Puget Sound. But, sometimes things don’t always work out they way we want them to.

You were always a sciencey guy, so I understand that Heaven and God didn’t quite factor into the scientific explanation of things. So, I don’t think that you are in Heaven because you can’t be somewhere that you said doesn’t exist. I do think that your energy is still floating around somewhere. I find that to be a little more comforting.



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